Audrey Mae Spencer

“I was singing, and all of a sudden, I stopped.  Then I was singing sad, and I don’t know why. I don’t want to cry, and cause all that trouble.”

“Sit down and stay.”

” Are you hungry?”

“I have a broken heart.”

(Mother would or could not explain why.)

(Heather:  Mother, what are you thinking?)

“How we can get along?  Well, I want to stay together.  I don’t want to be yanked away.”

(Heather:  Mother, the staff will not take you away from your company.  They like you to have visitors here.  They will not tell me to leave.)

“Yves [a certified nurses aide at Kent Regency], he is going to give me a book.  I think that is what he said.”

“Nathanael Greene.  He led us to victory.”

“I have no thoughts.”

(After seeing Claudette, a Black activities staff member at Kent, walk down the hall)

“I was trying to think of how much I’d be worth if they tried to sell me.  At least $100.00 if I were a slave.”

(This conversation reminded me of my question to Mother recorded in the first printing of Glimpses of the Past: Morning Conversations with Audrey. I asked her what did she regret the most in her life and she responded, “I regret that I never had a Black friend”. Therefore, I spoke with Claudette about this and whenever we would see Claudette, I would say softly to Mother “here is Claudette your Black friend”. Mother always was happy to see Claudette, a wonderful, caring staff person in Senior Activities Department at Kent .)

“I’ve got no thoughts, but what are you saying?”

(Heather: Do you like it here at Kent?)

“Yes”.

(Heather:  What do you like about it?”)

“It’s peaceful.  It’s quiet and nobody fighting with everybody else.  Everybody seems to be sensible.”

(Heather:  What do you like best about your room?)

(Looking up toward the framed hat box cover with a stylist shoe that Deardra put on the wall by Mother’s bed) “Elegance” Mother read.

(Heather:  Mother,  I’m trying to call Deardra to tell her that you liked her choice of decor, but she’s not home.)

“Well, I’m home.  You can call me.”

(Heather:  A penny for your thoughts?)

“This blue pillow.  I wonder how much this is.  Do you consider this whole building yours?”

(Heather:  Do you consider this your home?)

“No, because I don’t own it”.

(Heather:  But you rent it? Do you like it here? [Audrey gives a neutral response.]

“I wonder how…(end of thought) Do you own this house?”

(Heather:  Everything on this side of the room is yours (pointing to the corner, window).

“I don’t want to be a Mother.”

(Heather: Why?)

“It’s such a lot of work and I don’t like to work.  I want you to park yourself.”

“How many horses?”

(Heather (speaking calmly and strongly):  The horses are all in the barn. There is no need for us to worry.)

“Are their heads sticking out?”

(Heather (speaking calmly and strongly):  Yes, Mother. There is no need for us to worry.)

“I just want to see the boys.”

(Heather:  What boys?)

“Do they go by here?  No, I’m the mother of a boy and I want  her boys to stand right up there, so they will know you have a boy.”

(Heather:  Mother, did you cry all your life?)

“I’ve cried my heart out since I was 90.  I didn’t cry at all.  I’m crying now because everything is upside down.  I don’t think things are going right for me.  Wait a minute and maybe we will see.  When…I don’t think its going right.  Maybe it is.”

” A penny for your thoughts.  I was wondering what my thoughts were.  I was just thinking a penny for my thoughts.”

(Heather:  A penny for your thoughts?)

(amusingly) “I knew you were going to ask that.”

“Why am I crying?”